So, this week, I reached a new low.
For the 2nd time in my life, I entered the 12 stone bracket and realised I am 2 pounds heavier now than I was when I was full term carrying a small human.
I then decided to check my BMI and was horrified to find out that I am only 1lb away from being considered “obese”.
That’s when I decided things needed to drastically change.
Food / Diet
I love food. No sooner have I finished one meal, I am looking forward to the next. I have tried every diet known to man, Juice Plus, Slim Fast, Slimming World, Weight Watchers. You name it, I’ve tried it…..and failed!
Don’t get me wrong, I start off well and for about two weeks, I am the model dieter. Then I get bored and after one small cheat, which escalates into crisps, chocolate and whatever else I can get my hands on because “I may as well now as I’ve ruined it”, I can gain the total I’ve lost in the preceding two weeks in one sitting.
Every Monday, I start a diet, and by Wednesday at the latest, I will be scoffing on a chocolate bar and deciding “I’ll start next Monday now” because apparently diets can only start on certain days of the week!!!
I make excuses for eating constantly. If I’m stressed, sad, tired or worried, I tell myself I deserve a family bag of white chocolate buttons as it’s been a busy week in work or I haven’t had much sleep or I’ve done a bit of cleaning!
So, enough is enough and I’ve re-joined Weight Watchers Online for the 575th time. I find Slimming World doesn’t work for me as I have ZERO portion control and I don’t like any vegetables so find the 1/3 plate rule difficult to keep up with. In addition, everything has to be made from scratch and with two boys who spend half their lives on a rugby pitch, this isn’t always feasible.
I’ve had my shopping delivered, entered all my regular meals into the app for ease of counting and tomorrow I’m good to go!
That’s after the Indian Takeaway, Raspberry and Prosecco Pavlova and bottle of red wine tonight. I mean, it is the last supper after all and I need to be as heavy as possible by tomorrow for my starting weight!
I drink alcohol every day.
Granted, it’s just one glass of red wine Sunday to Thursday ( and a “little” more on weekends) but it’s too much.
My love of red wine is part of the reason why I fail at diets. I have to “keep” some points / syns for my alcohol each day which means that I have very little for other treats which, in turn, means I get bored of eating rabbit food to compensate and give up!
As October is the month of sobriety with the “Go Sober for October” campaign, I have decided that October is going to be an alcohol free month for me.
I attempted an alcohol free month in September 2015 and managed to get to the 26th but then Wales beat England in the Rugby World Cup at Twickenham and quite frankly, celebrating such a win with a Diet Coke wouldn’t have been the same!
I am lazy, plain and simple.
I waste a good five minutes every morning driving around the site of my office to try and get an elusive parking space because God Forbid I should have to drive to the Off Site car park which is a mere 2 minute walk away.
Unless I go to meetings, I sit at my desk ALL day. I never go out for lunch and as I sit right next to the kitchen, it’s not as if I am clocking up many steps while I nip in to fill my face several time a day!
I have a dog which I don’t walk and who was described as “a little more sausage shaped than he should be” the last time we went to the vets. My 66 year old mother feels so sorry for him that she is taking him on mountain walks whenever she can which is not her responsibility and she is not getting any younger!
So again, this is something that needs to change.
Cian has been asking for the last few years if he can do the Welsh Three Peaks Challenge to raise funds for JDRF and we have finally set a date for June 2019.
The intention was for Andrew to do all 3 with him and for me and Fin to join them on the last one for us to all walk Pen Y Fan together.
However, I’ve now decided that I want to do all three and once I decide to do something for my boy, I know that will inspire me to keep going.
In October 2013, I completed the Cardiff Half Marathon despite being overweight, having an infected mosquito bite on my calf and a bruised foot from slipping drunk in the kebab shop the week before on my sister in law’s hen weekend in Marbella. (You see the food / drink pattern emerging?…)
The only thing keeping me from giving up despite being in pain all the way round was knowing how much money I had raised for JDRF and that Fin would be waiting for me at the end and so I’m sure knowing the Three Peaks is for Fin will get me through, but I need to get fit to even stand a chance!
This weekend, I’ve set up a mini gym in what used to be the boy’s playroom so that even in bad weather, I can get some exercise in. Alexa has also moved into the playroom so that she can blast motivational music at me and I’m also going to try to take my “sausage shaped” dog for a walk before work at least three times a week.
And that’s the plan!
Tomorrow is a new day, a new month and a new me!
“Someone once said, you can either be miserable because you are dieting and therefore losing weight or you can be miserable because you are fat. Which miserable do you want to be?”